12 Principles of Agile Adapted — Principle #5

In my experience principle # 5 is one of the most difficult in corporate America. So often corporate culture is not one of trust. Lack of trust breeds lack of motivation and lack of engagement.

I also think this particularly applies to raising children.

Here’s the principle:

Build projects around motivated individuals. 
Give them the environment and support they need, 
and trust them to get the job done.

Helicopter parenting has become a real issue these days. I see it all around me and I admit I fall into the trap myself. We want the best for our kids, we want to ensure a smooth path to success. As a result we parents orchestrate all kinds of experiences around things we feel our kids should be interested in instead of letting their interests grow naturally. Of course it is good to expose kids to the variety of life but ultimately we need to let them choose what motivates them and trust that they will. Creating that environment of support and trust is crucial, but believe me I know it isn’t always easy and our kids don’t always earn our trust because, well, they are kids. My own daughter is 17 and there are many times when I am suspicious for no reason other than she is teenager and that is not always fair. I don’t pretend to be a parenting expert at all, but I think trust and support go a long way to raising grown ups.

Really when I think about it all the people in our lives that we love — our friends and family, deserve that same treatment of support and trust. We need to assume their motivations are good.

So my adapted version of this principle is this:

Give our loved ones trust and support to grow and follow their own motivations.

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