12 Principles of Agile Adapted – Principle #6

I think the spirit of this is completely appropriate in our world of texting, Snapchat, Instagram, etc.

The most efficient and effective method of 
conveying information to and within a development 
team is face-to-face conversation.

I know I am guilty of relying on texting or Facebook and Instagram to communicate with my family far and wide. I send updates on my family, on my job, etc. I have several old friends and family members who’s voice I have not heard in years, let alone see them in person. And yes, in some cases social media is a blessing for keeping up. No one has time to get together often and no one has time to chat on the phone. However, when it really counts and for the people who really count, it matters.

My brother, my sister-in-law, and my niece and nephew moved to Switzerland about 6 months ago. We’ve done a good job keeping up with each other over WhatsApp and Instagram, but they just came back for a visit and when they showed up at my door I hugged them so hard and I was crying. It surprised me how much I was overcome with emotion in seeing them. It felt like it had been years and not six months. It is the same feeling when I see other friends that flung far. (Becky, Karen, I am talking about both of you.)

The constant contact of social medial makes us underestimate what it means to share physical space with someone we care about. It is unavoidable to some degree, but it is important to remember to actually get together, in person when possible, to make that a priority for staying connected to those you love.

The AgileIRL interpretation of this principle is:

The most efficient, effective and human way to connect to and communicate with loved ones is through face-to-face conversation.

12 Principles of Agile Adapted — Principle #5

In my experience principle # 5 is one of the most difficult in corporate America. So often corporate culture is not one of trust. Lack of trust breeds lack of motivation and lack of engagement.

I also think this particularly applies to raising children.

Here’s the principle:

Build projects around motivated individuals. 
Give them the environment and support they need, 
and trust them to get the job done.

Helicopter parenting has become a real issue these days. I see it all around me and I admit I fall into the trap myself. We want the best for our kids, we want to ensure a smooth path to success. As a result we parents orchestrate all kinds of experiences around things we feel our kids should be interested in instead of letting their interests grow naturally. Of course it is good to expose kids to the variety of life but ultimately we need to let them choose what motivates them and trust that they will. Creating that environment of support and trust is crucial, but believe me I know it isn’t always easy and our kids don’t always earn our trust because, well, they are kids. My own daughter is 17 and there are many times when I am suspicious for no reason other than she is teenager and that is not always fair. I don’t pretend to be a parenting expert at all, but I think trust and support go a long way to raising grown ups.

Really when I think about it all the people in our lives that we love — our friends and family, deserve that same treatment of support and trust. We need to assume their motivations are good.

So my adapted version of this principle is this:

Give our loved ones trust and support to grow and follow their own motivations.